The Division Energy Out There and the Division Energy Within
The Division Energy Out There and the Division Energy Within; Navigating Extremes
My dog wouldn’t stop barking, so I finally opened the front door and there stood a young man asking me to take some political material and support his candidate. I politely told him no thanks and that I’m on the “other team”. He smiled and said “it’s all good”. We didn’t need to get angry or argue with each other , we were just two people who have different views.
It’s impossible not to notice the great divide in today's political climate as it’s constantly in the news, on lawn signs, in memes on social media. Polarizing opinions can create rifts in communities, families, friendships and even within ourselves. The angrier these messages get, the more dangerous and unhealthy they can become.
The energy of division isn't just "out there"; it exists within us as well, in the form of inner polarities. Through the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, we can begin to understand how these inner divisions mirror the external ones and how healing within can lead to a greater sense of unity in the world around us.
The U.S. political landscape often feels like a battlefield of extremes—left vs. right, conservative vs. liberal, progress vs. tradition. This polarization isn’t just affecting our society on a broad level; it also reflects inner conflicts many of us experience every day. In IFS therapy, we refer to these internal struggles as "inner polarities"—different parts of us pulling in opposite directions, much like the factions in political debates.
When people or parties are at extremes there’s probably not much listening to the other happening. Extreme beliefs become rigid and the desire to be right or “win” takes over and the door to understanding is shut.
With the "us vs. them" it leaves little room for empathy, curiosity, or open conversation. It separates individuals into groups, and internally, it can create inner turmoil, stress and disconnection from hearing our true Self.
Inner Polarities: The Division Energy Within
In IFS, inner polarities are opposing parts within us that have different motivations, beliefs, and fears.
Here are a few examples:
A part of you wants to tell your partner something that your upset about while another part talks you out of it by minimizing your feelings. .
A part of you loves connecting with people and making new friends and another part fears rejection and keeps you isolated and alone.
A part of you has a huge to do list and keeps you focused on accomplishing and another part of you is frustrated with all the doing and wants a break.
Just like political groups hold opposing views, our inner parts may conflict. We might have a part that feels very strongly about a certain belief or value and another part that is anxious or critical of that belief.
Pay attention to areas in your life where you feel stuck or torn between different emotions or desires. Feeling confusion and conflicted is often a sign of conflicting parts within you.
What’s Happening with Polarized Parts?
When there are two opposing parts within, the question you can ask is: what do the parts fear would happen each one listened or considered another point of view?
The parts might respond with something like “I have to be strong, powerful, aggressive, right at all costs. I can’t give an inch or I’ll be vulnerable.” These parts are working to keep you safe at all costs. . This can be a tough idea to conside (for the part) however, this is how these parts have learned to protect you. It’s what they know.
-Practical Steps to Engage with Your Polarized Parts:
Time to bring your polarized parts up to date, present time.
- Self-Reflection: Take time to notice the inner dialogue when you experience strong polarized parts. Ask yourself: What part of me is speaking right now? What’s it afraid of? What does it need? Give each part room to share its concerns and fears. Ask; what would happen if you weren’t doing this job or holding this view?
- Use Compassionate Curiosity: Just as we need curiosity and empathy to bridge the gap in political discussions, we need the same tools internally. Approach your parts with curiosity, not judgment. If judgment shows up, it’s another part ! You can acknowledge this part and ask what it needs in order for you to get to the know polarized parts. Each part has a reason for existing and a role to play.
- Connect with Your Self: In IFS, we emphasize the importance of the "Self," the energy of calm, clarity, and compassion within each of us. When you can become the witness to these parts of yourself, you are better equipped to mediate between your inner polarities by listening to each of their concerns and their role in your system.
The Practical Connection Between Inner Healing and Outer Change
When we’re aware of and engage in the healing of polarities within, it’s possible to become more tolerant, compassionate, and open to understanding different perspectives in the outer world.
- Practical Tips for Bridging External Divides:
-Pause Before Reacting: When you notice a heated division in a conversation or political debate, pause and check in with your parts. Is a defensive part taking over? Can your Self come forward and respond with calmness for yourself and your nervous system? You always have the choice to not engage about certain subjects.
- Practice Empathy Internally and Externally: Just as you listen to and understand your parts, try to approach others (even those you disagree with) with the same level of empathy. Recognize that they, too, are made up of parts, some of which may be driven by fear or pain. You may be surprised that they want some of the same things that you do!
-Use the Power of Self-Led Leadership: When you begin to notice how you act and react, you can become Self-Led from the position of witnessing yourself. This witnessing without emotion or agenda is your Self. When you interact from this place you’ll be more likely to foster harmony in your relationships, communities, and broader social interactions.
Navigating Extremes with Internal Family Systems
In a political world marked by division, it can be easy to lose hope. By turning inward and addressing the polarities within ourselves, we can create a sense of peace that ripples outward into the world around us. Through the Internal Family Systems model, we can learn to navigate extremes—both inside and out—with compassion, curiosity, and clarity.
The next time you feel a push/pull within with opposing feelings, slow down and invite each part of you to express concerns. When you explore your inner world with curiosity you’ll begin to hear that still small voice (Self) that can guide and lead you and your life no matter what shows up, including the outcome of this upcoming US election.
If you want to learn more about the parts that make up who you are, I’m available for IFS therapy as a guide to your healing and welcome your Self energy into your life.
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