“Conflict is the alchemical soup that transforms raw emotion and instinct into pure gold.” Harville Hendrix
Right now you are in relationship with everything around you: this post, people, businesses, money, and yourself. How you react to what you’re reading and all your relationships, is based on your ”filter” which is how you see and interpret the world around you.
How do you feel about the relationships in your life right now?
Are they fulfilling?
Do they provide you with feelings of safety, support, and love?
If your relationships are gliding along smoothly, good for you! Or, if you have conflict in your relationships, good for you too, because this is where your personal growth is.
How you handle conflict, provides you with information about how you protected yourself when you were a child. Did you retreat or react? What do you do now? If you retreat, perhaps your environment was not safe or expression was not encouraged. If you react, maybe that’s how you got heard in your family.
Resolution in relationships comes from clear communication. In order to create more meaningful relationships, consider managing conflict from a new perspective the next time it arises with the following action steps:
- Speak your truth and state your feelings to your friend/partner using “I” statements and express what you need from that person. For example: “ I felt scared when you did not call home when you were traveling. I’d like you to call me when you arrive at your destination so I can relax knowing you are o.k.”
- Consider the expectations you have of others. Are they reasonable? Do others even know you have these expectations? Check it out with them and negotiate if you have to.
- When you start making assumptions, stop. Go to the source and ask for clarification.
- Be willing to say, “I am sorry”. This can be the most healing balm of all.
Relationships mirror back to us a bounty of information about ourselves, if we are willing to become aware. Like Harville Hendrix states in the quote above, this is where the gold is. The gold is the rich, deep, growth that happens within you and your relationships when you are willing to be authentic. This is where the heart is and love lives!❤️