The calendar year is about to turn and it can get you thinking about your life, and that’s a good thing. An unawakened soul lives life in the shadows and over time it can get pretty dark in there.
New Year’s resolutions and goal setting hold an energy of; should, must, need to. If you are inspired by this energy, move ahead and create from there. If not, read on as I offer you a new way to dialogue with your soul.
What I’ve noticed around the idea of goal setting and a “to do” list is that it can shut down a part of the psyche as an inner critic and inner protector begin to speak up out of fear with statements such as:
“That’s overwhelming, you can’t possibly acheive that.”
“You tried that last year and it didn’t work.”
“It’s just too hard.”
These voices are scared and these dramatic statements are meant to stop you in your tracks so you don’t experience failure, mistakes, disappointment, etc. However, they are also stopping you from growing. A seed doesn’t ask “should I bypass the struggle to burst through the shell?”. It breaks through as growth and blooming are on the other side of struggle.
Focusing on the doing only, leaves the psyche asking why? Why do?
In my first career out of college, I entered into the world of outside sales. I learned quickly that if I was telling a customer about all the wonderful features my product had without asking questions and discovering why they might need it and how it would help them, I was doomed to failure. It’s a very common mistake that sales people make. If you don’t understand the how and why a product/service will benefit someone, they’ll only hear noise from you, not how your product can benefit them.
The same is true in all relationships. If you’re not listening to what your partner, child, employee, friend etc. is saying and discover what they need, you’ll create “communication issues” that really means “you’re not listening and hearing each other”. You can solve this easily by listening deeper and discovering a person’s “why”, what do they want to feel? What do they want to experience?
YOU are in relationship with YOU. Are you listening to your soul?
Take some time to focus on yourself, your life, your desires and ask yourself only 2 questions this New Year’s Eve;
1) What do I want to leave behind and NOT take with me into the new year?
If you were moving your household, would you pack up the trash from the kitchen garbage can and take it with you? Would you pack up the boxes and bags in the garage you’ve been meaning to donate or trash and take them with you?
Hanging on to what no longer serves you weighs you down ~ letting it go frees you up.
Consider what relationships, obligations, family dynamics, self talk, habits, beliefs, worries you want to leave behind from this year. List it, burn it, and let it go.
2) What do I want to FEEL in next year?
This question can be a bit more challenging as it requires more thought and contemplation. If you feel stuck with a feeling word, look back on last year and recall times that felt difficult or were filled with inner or outer conflict. What was the source? What would have made the situation better? What did you need?
Here’s a list of feeling words to get you thinking:
calm clear connected playful joyful confident
organized powerful healthy vibrant fit
healthy creative curious loved
empowered adventurous centered prosperous
Once you discover your feeling word, the how will appear and a goal list will come much more easily so you can plan to create the feeling all year long.
The turn of the calendar year sets these ideas in motion, but the truth is you can create your life each and every moment.
One of my favorite quotes is by the philos0pher Seneca:
” Begin at once to live and count each separate day as a separate life.”
Seneca takes the pressure off of starting the new year the “right” way or making it your “best” year. The truth is you live in the moment, not in the past or the future, but right now. Each moment in time you get to choose.
Wishing you a new year filled with experiences that engage and elevate your soul!