If you’ve never had a true migraine headache, you cannot know the intensity and depth of this pain.
Perhaps you’ve had really bad headache, but don’t call it a migraine.
Migraines are debilitating, they take you out of commission by offering up show stoppers like nausea, dizziness, sensitivity to light and a vice grip on the skull that tightens with every breath. Continual migraines can lead to despair and depression.
Headaches hurt, but with some over the counter pain meds, perhaps you can manage.
Migraines don’t allow you to manage.
I know. I’ve had them.
In my teens and early college days I experienced migraines. At the time, there were no specific medications available for this type of headache so I would suffer in a dark room for days on end. In college I remember a particular migraine when I took to my dorm room bed loft that was hinged about twelve inches from the ceiling. I was serenaded for hours from the room above me by Michael Jackson. Over and over again the music pulsed through the cinder block walls and into my brain. There was no relief in site.
Today, there are more options available; preventative medications, medications you can take at home to stop them from getting worse and, if needed you can head to your chiropractor, a D.O., Doctor of Osteopath, massage therapist or in extreme cases to the ER and be treated and released with migraine gone.
So what do migraines have to do with judgement of a suicide?
The harshest reaction I’ve heard in the press was in regards to actor/comedian Robin Williams. It had been written that his suicide was selfish. This reaction is coming from those that haven’t experienced the deep bottomless cavern of depression. These comments are from people who do not know and are relating sadness to depression. And just like a headache vs. a migraine, there is no comparison between the two.
Unless you’ve experienced the depths of depression and despair that a person contemplating suicide has, you cannot say you know. You don’t know. If you’ve felt sadness or grief, that is not the dark mask of suicide creeping in, those are emotional reactions to life events.
As a therapist, I’ve had many client’s say, “but Susan, you just don’t know because you haven’t ________” whatever it is they’ve experienced that I have not. I respond that they are right, I don’t know or “I am here to be with you and help you navigate what you are experiencing.”
So before you get ready to offer up an opinion on someone else’s situation or emotions based on your experiences alone – stop – think – open your mind to the possibility that you just don’t and cannot know what someone else feels.
Offer up compassion instead of judgement and you’ll be adding a healthy dose of healing energy to your own body instead of the poisonous venom of judgement.
Judgement never heals.
If you know someone that is depressed and alone, reach out to them.
And if you’re in the depths of depression, know there is help available to alleviate your symptoms.
You don’t have to suffer and you don’t have to go through it alone.
National Suicide Hotline; 1-800-273-8255
Find a therapist HERE