What Makes Fabulous Friendships?
I have been in gratitude lately for the fabulous friendships I have in my life. I’ve been friends with some for almost a lifetime, others for years and some new. I’ve pondered what makes these relationships work so well? The common denominator is that these friendships have withstood the test of truth speaking.
What Is truth speaking?
With the friends I hold close, I know I can speak my truth with them and they will be able to meet me. If I feel hurt or angry by something they have said or done, I check it out with them instead of stuffing it or just walking away from the friendship. These friends talk things through with me, they don’t leave me or make me wrong, they stick it out until we figure it out. These friends are worth it, and so am I.
I recently shared with a relatively new friend, that I was practicing congruency; the art of listening to the mind and heart and then speaking or acting on it. She jokingly said “do you have any friends left?” I thought about that and the answer is yes, the ones I want in my life.
If you desire deeper friendships, you have to first be a fabulous friend with yourself by being truthful with what you are feeling. Here are some ways to begin the process for creating deeper connections:
- Be willing to take a risk and share more of yourself. You will then open to door for you friend to share more of themselves.
- Clarify an upset. If something your friend says or does upsets you, ask them about it, don’t make assumptions! This is the #1 key to healthy relationships. If they are unable to discuss it with you and get defensive, you know that you have reached a limit with this friend.
- Listen, don’t fix. when a friend has a problem; you may want to alleviate their pain by fixing it immediately and you miss out on being empathic, which is what most people need in a moment of crisis.
- Keep your commitments to your friends. If you say you are going to call or have plans, follow through.
- Be keen to your friends likes and dislikes. Let them know you really know them by remembering what they share with you.
- Take time to be heard. This is for all the listeners out there. If you are the listener in your friendships, your “ship” is tilting one way and eventually will capsize! Speak up and ask to be heard, talk about what is going on for you, see #1.
Consider testing the depths of your friendships by challenging yourself to speak your truth or begin sharing more deeply with a friend. Go for fabulous friendships. You are worth it!